A few years ago, I had a very odd conversation while training a new colleague. In our roles, we had to connect with people, present and answer questions from audience members. They asked me what I thought the most important element of the role was, and my answer took them by surprise. I simply said that I’m my opinion, if they wanted to be great at this they needed to understand wrestling.

In this post, I’ll explain how understanding wrestling in real life can change the way you connect with people.

I’m sure you’ve all seen a wrestling match. From the big sports entertainment brands like the WWE and AEW to local, independent events, wrestling is everywhere. You’re probably familiar with some of the most famous wrestlers of all time as well, like Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, The Rock, ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin and The Undertaker.

The dramatic, overblown bouts deliver epic confrontations between colourful characters. They’re usually carefully crafted stories that often reflect morality and a sense of pride. It’s all taken to the extreme, with superhuman moves, over-the-top entrances and highly emotive speeches to the audience. Nothing is held back and it’s all larger-than-life.

Even if your work doesn’t require you to connect with people or present to an audience, what I’m about to share could be invaluable at your next job interview.

We’ll explore how wrestling really works and then look at how you can improve your performance if you approach your work like a wrestler. As always, I’ll leave you with three easy things you can do right now.

How wrestling works

Let’s get straight into how wrestling really works. Spoiler alert, wrestling isn’t real. Although you’re probably aware of that, a lot of people make the mistake of thinking it’s fake and that it’s all choreographed. The reality is that it’s a lot more interesting than that.

The performers really do make contact and while a lot of the moves are exaggerated and dramatised, it’s physically demanding and there are clear risks. Although there is a predetermined winner, it’s extremely rare that the match is fully planned out in advance. That would take a lot of effort and all the performers would need excellent memories.

In reality, the planning of a wrestling match is a very interesting process. To put a match together, the wrestlers and those involved backstage will plan ’spots’. These are essentially the highlights, where the crowd will often go wild. This could be in the form of a spectacular, high-risk move, use of a weapon or even the scenery around them. Other wrestlers may also be scheduled to interfere with the match.

These matches are usually part of a storyline as well, where the ongoing feud unfolds over a series of matches, confrontations and segments. This is the creative side of the business, where scripted or improvised ‘promos’ often fill the gaps and set things up. I’m sure you’ve all seen a wrestler passionately proclaiming ‘what they’re gonna do’ into the camera or in front of the audience. Like the matches, promos are planned and prepared in advance.

So that’s the planning taken care of, but what do they actually do when they’re in the ring? This for me is the most interesting bit.

Most wrestlers will ‘call’ moves to each other. These verbal instructions are kept concealed and it will often be during a grapple or a hold. The referee is also there to help pass messages between them, and those at ringside will usually give signals to help them keep time. It’s very clever.

For example a wrestler will lock-up with his opponent and whisper “throw me into the corner”. When this is done, his opponent will say to the referee, “tell him to duck my clothesline when he runs at me”. The referee will then look like he’s giving the other wrestler a warning, but will in fact be relaying that important instruction. That’s how the magic happens.

So now you have an idea of how wrestling works, I’d like to explain what I think is the most important aspect of it. We’ll then explore how we can use this in real life.

The most important thing about wrestling in real life

For me, there’s a key lesson we can learn from this. Now we have an idea of what wrestlers are really doing, we can take a close look at their craft and what they really want to achieve.

There’s a clear reason why most matches are improvised, and it surprises most people.

Imagine they just went out there and followed a scripted set of moves. As I mentioned before, this would not only take a lot to remember but their attention would be taken away from the main thing they need to focus on.

You may not realise it, but it’s the audience that really makes a great wrestling match happen.

The huge ‘pops’ from the crowd, the boos as the villain cheats and genuine shock when presented with surprises can’t help but take you into this epic showdown between good and evil.

When they are out there, the wrestlers are focussed on the crowd. They want to react to them and give them what they want. For example, if a move gets a great reaction, one of them will probably tell the other one to do it again. There have even been times when wrestlers have made decisions to change the ending, or allow an opponent to ‘go over’ and win based on reactions from the audience.

In essence, the wrestling match is a story that’s told physically to the audience and the performers will work hard to improvise and carefully react to how they respond. I’m tempted to say it’s about giving them what they want, but the ongoing story may require them to get very upset when ‘their guy or girl’ doesn’t win. It’s all part of the show and it all keeps them engaging.

So that’s how it works. This should already give you some ideas of how this could help you, but there’s something far more important I’d like you to consider.

They key thing I would like you to focus on is what these wrestlers need to do to be able to make this happen.

It would be very difficult to improvise or react to the audience if their attention was elsewhere. If their opponent says, “perform a back body drop when you come off the ropes”, they can’t be thinking about what it is and how they’re going to do it. It needs to be automatic.

They key thing I’d like you to take away from this is that the wrestler will need to be prepared and do a lot of work before they set foot in the ring. They have to train, they have to master the moves and they have to develop muscle memory.

The more they can consign to the back of their heads and make automatic, the more capacity they have to focus on the audience and plan ahead. They can make something look improvised that has been carefully considered and planned out in advance.

Hopefully, you’ll now understand how we can learn a lot from wrestling in real life. To put this into practice, let’s take a look at some specific situations where we can apply this.

How wrestling can help us in an interview

This may seem odd, but I think a job interview is the most obvious place to apply the principles of wrestling. It probably won’t surprise you to learn that most people I share this with look at me very funny at first, but they soon get it when I start to explain.

Like the wrestler, we need to carefully prepare for an interview. The more we can make automatic, the more we can watch and react to the people in front of us. We need to rehearse the answers to common questions, select our examples, stories and situations in advance and do plenty of research.

In the same way the wrestler isn’t overwhelmed working out how to perform a back body drop, we can focus on what’s important. We can look at how the people asking the questions respond to our answers. This is really effective if there are several interviewers, and you should think of them in the same way the wrestler views their audience.

Again, like the wrestler we shouldn’t rely on a linear, scripted plan. If it’s clear they like your answer, revisit it. If something isn’t working, stay way from it. React to what you can observe in front of you. I think this will really help you make a great impression.

Like the wrestling match, hard work will be rewarded and we’ll look fresh and spontaneous. Planning the outline like a wrestler will also help us avoid looking scripted or unnatural.

Next, we’ll look at how we can use the wrestler’s craft when we are presenting to an audience.

How wrestling can help us present and engage with an audience

While this is similar to what we explored above, there are some additional aspects we can explore. Like an interview, when we speak to an audience we’ll really benefit from the added capacity that only practice can provide.

Like the wrestler, it doesn’t need to be a script either. Just learning the key points and having a clear plan in place can create something fresh and spontaneous. The flexibility to ‘ad-lib and react to how people are responding can also help.

We can also borrow another approach from the wrestler’s toolkit when we connect with people. We can create a character.

I need to carefully explain this, as this may seem like a step too far for a lot of people. Wrestlers will usually adopt a character when they perform. These can range from villains that they want the crowd to hate or the plucky, wholesome underdog they want them to get behind.

Some of these are complete creations, that are in stark contrast to who the wrestlers really are. The ones I really want to focus on though are the characters that are effectively an exaggeration of their personality and attributes in real life. These are often the most effective.

The wrestler Chris Jericho often talks about how he effectively amplifies existing traits to create a memorable character. I think this is the perfect way to approach public speaking.

Have a think about what characteristics you have that you would like to highlight and expand on.

If you’re nervous, amplify your confident side and if you’re naturally introverted, act ‘as if’ you’re outgoing and ready to take on the world. I chose my words carefully there, as I truly believe the As If Principle comes into play here, where how you act can change the way you feel.

I’ve spoken a lot about this in my work on the site.

I’d like to leave this to you to work out for yourself how you can adopt these ideas. We all do different things, we all have our own style and systems and we should have a good idea of what’s appropriate and what will work with our audience.

Just remember, wrestlers are almost always larger than life. They make an impact, they connect and people remember what they do. This doesn’t just happen, as there’s a lot of preparation and planning behind this.

It should help us now if we review everything we’ve explored.

Applying lessons from wrestling in real life

I’m sure you can see now how we can benefit from wrestling in real life. The examples above are just a few ways we can put this to use. As I’ve said, we’re all unique, so I’ll leave it to you now to think about how you can adapt this into what you do.

The key thing I’d like you to take away from this is the need to practice and hone your craft to the point where you can make things automatic. When you reach the point where you can make things look fresh and spontaneous, you’re sure to be rewarded.

Here are three easy things to help you learn the lessons from wrestling in real life:

• Practice enough to make it automatic

• Carefully watch the people in front of you and work out how they feel

• React to this and give them what they want

You can do this. You can make that connection.